Day 66 - The Schwartz's

The Schwartz's were our neighbors in Colorado, and I'm going out of order to return to them. They had two little girls who were 2 and 8 when I was 12 and babysat them.

Sam, the youngest was like Houdini. When you put her to bed, not only did you have to lock the door, you also had to put up a baby gate outside it and attach this special cover over the lock so she couldn't unlock it from inside. Before this method (which wasn't always enough) was put in place, Sam would escape and either sneak up on you in the living room or run out the front door. It was frustrating and a little scary.

Laura, the elder sister, knew more about sex then I did. She was allowed to watch any movie in the house. Her mother had an enormous movie collection. It was so big Christie and I would joke we were going to the movie store when we went to borrow a movie on the weekends. Laura had seen enough rated R movies to be able to describe things I only now fully understand. It was weird.

I wasn't the best baby sitter when I babysat for the Schwartz's because their kids drove me nuts. I would spend the whole night arguing with them.

No, you can't watch Beaches. Because I can't even watch that movie. Because it's rated R. I don't know what R stands for. No, you can't eat ice cream. Because we're going to have dinner in a little while. Are you hungry now? No? Then why did you ask for ice cream? I don't care if your other babysitters would give you ice cream. You guys have to finish your meals. I don't care if you eat your dessert first, just empty your plate. No, you can't leave the table yet, take three more bites. Okay, you can leave, but clean up. You're mom doesn't make you clean up? Just pick up the tray and throw it away. I know you know where the trash can is. Did you wash your hands? How did you wash your hands without turning on the sink? Go back and wash them.

They knew the schedule and how to divert it. I generally got them in bed an hour after they were supposed to be there and it would take another hour of returning them to their beds and threatening them to get them to sleep. Laura heard the phrase, "if you don't, I'm going to have to tell your mother when she gets home" so often that she started using it on me. "If you aren't nice to us, I'll tell my mom!" I'd calmly replay, "Okay, you tell your mom and I'll have to tell her you were in time-out because you wouldn't eat and you swore at me." It became sickening.

I baby sat for them a lot, and I made a lot of money because of it. Between the Schwartz's and two other families who lived very close, I worked 4 or 5 nights a week. It was so cool to have a steady income in middle school, but once we moved, I did not seek out new babysitting jobs and it took nearly ten years for me to even consider the idea of having children of my own one day.