Day 16 - John M

In typing class, we sat alphabetically which put me next to John. John had a personality that no one could dislike. He was funny, outgoing, self-effacing, smart, talented and just cool. He had, that extra element, a 'je ne sais quoi" of sorts. John would call me and we'd talk for a long time about who knows what. He wrote me a song, but when he played and sang it for me on the phone, he put the receiver too far away and I couldn't hear it. When he came back on, I told him it was fantastic (bad idea).

One of John's girl friends (he was the type of guy with more friends who are girls than guys) told me that he liked me. That method always bothered me, which I won't elaborate on tonight. I reacted poorly, I suppose. I did like John. I did, but I don't think I was mature enough or strong enough to go out with him. This self-assessment is only in hindsight, at the time I didn't know why I didn't want to date him. Which makes explaining it to someone that much tougher.

The guilt that followed me around after rejecting him was awful. I learned the strangest back routes to my classes to avoid him in the halls. I would suddenly become silent when his friends passed me in the halls. I was somewhat of a statue for the rest of the semester in that typing class

The last year of middle school finally came and we were all so much older. There was nothing we didn't know! John and I could finally go back to be being acquaintances. He was still funny, outgoing, self-effacing, smart, talented, just cool and now taller. I still didn't want to date him, but now he didn't want to date me either, so it was okay.